


champagne problems

by ohjdaem



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Closure, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 12:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30004959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjdaem/pseuds/ohjdaem
Summary: Sehun could never decipher how the calm could also be chaos. He believed it could never happen until Jongdae came.
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Oh Sehun
Comments: 5
Kudos: 29





	champagne problems

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenchenhun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenchenhun/gifts).



> hola! i'm back after ilang months hehehehe 
> 
> So, Diane was having a crisis with TSwift's Champagne Problems the other day and requested for a fic inspired by it. Dapat noong monday pa ito, kaso sinulat ko ulit siya kagabi. Hahaha! Sana magustuhan mo ito, Diana Marie. You hold a special place in my heart, you know that. Hingi ka ng angst 'di ba? Eto na. Hahahahs I hope you'll like it though. 
> 
> To Sehun and Jongdae, the muse of all my writings, I love you.
> 
> This was unbeta-ed. I finished this at 6 AM. All the errors are mine, and am I even making sense anymore? Please play all the songs that will be mentioned in the story para mas dama niyo yung feels. Enjooooy 💛
> 
> **champagne problems**  
>  -A problem or dilemma that, when compared to issues of poverty, national disasters and war, are not all that big of a deal, but nonetheless provide individuals with issues that must be dealt with.

_"...Whilst somewhere the water is calm, in another place in the very same ocean, there is a colossal storm." – **Nikita Gill, People Survive in Different Ways**_

It was a happy day.

Masaya kasi kinasal na si Kyungsoo at Jongin.

Masayang araw dahil after 4 long years, nagkita kita ulit silang magbabarkada.

Masaya naman talaga dapat.

Maliban sa dalawang taong tampulan ng pansin ng barkada. 

"Baekhyun, stop fidgeting! Ba't ba ang ligalig ng kaluluwa mo?" saway ni Kyungsoo sa kaibigang hindi mapakali. Kasal ni Kyungsoo pero ang stress level niya hindi na tama.

"Soo, kinakabahan ako. May mali talaga."

Narinig ni Minseok ang sagot ni Baekhyun kaya natawa siya. "Ang praning mo, B. Ano bang nakakakaba diyan?"

Baekhyun started biting on his nails, a nervous tic he has yet to overcome. Malapit na mapudpod ang mga kuko niya, lalo na sa pangyayari ngayon.

"Bakit ba kayo ganyan? Hindi ba kayo nag-aalala?" Baekhyun asked the men in front of him. Nasa iisang table lang kasi ang barkda ngayon. Yes, pati ang newlyweds kahit nasa kalagitnaan ng program ng after party dahil pinatawag ni Baek. 

"Calm down, will you? Hayaan mo nalang at kumain ka na riyan. Sayang naman ang strategy na finormulate mo kagabi para makarami ka ng kain today!" Chanyeol took Baekhyun's cutlery and handed them to him. 

"Anong bang maling sinasabi mo, Baek? Ayos nga eh," singit ni Junmyeon habang dumedekwat ng eclairs sa plate niya.

"Kuya Jun, nakita kita! Ikuha mo ako ulit niyan!" Baekhyun complained. Sobrang stressed na nga siya nanakawan pa ng eclairs!

It was only Jongin who realised B's frustration. 

"By wrong, do you mean them?" May tinuldo si Jongin sa may labas ng wedding hall na natatanaw nila mula sa loob. They all watched from afar.

Nadistract lang sila nang pinuntahan ng wedding organizer ang newlyweds para papuntahin na sa harapan. Nalimutan yata nilang may ibang bisita pa sila.

Yixing heard Baek sighed once again. 

"Ikain mo nalang iyan, Baekhyun. Labas na tayo diyan."

Baekhyun finally ate his food in distress.

♡

Fancy gatherings never amused Sehun. It all seemed shallow to him, almost like a façade of something superficial, intangible even, that people try so hard to get a hold of.

So now he finds himself in front of the fountain by the entrance of the wedding hall. Nakakarelax kahit na nawiwisikan siya ng tubig mula sa fountain.

Hihinga lang siya saglit.

He was enjoying his moment with nothing but silence and the cool breeze. 

He fished the inside pocket of his suit jacket and pulled his cigarette case out. He grabbed a stick, put it in between his mouth, and lit it. As he puffed on the cigarette, he felt his insides calming. Mas lalo siyang nare-relax.

Tinigilan niya na talaga ang pagyoyosi. Ang sabi nakakasama raw sa kaniya. But he always keep a couple of them with him in case of an emergency. In case datnan siya ng matinding pangangailangan. In case lang na may mag-trigger sa kaniya. He considered the situation today an emergency.

"Yoyosi ka na ulit?" 

If he ever felt the rapid pumping of his heart when he heard _that_ voice, he didn't show it. Sehun would rather play it cool, like he always does. 

He felt the presence of the other before he even saw _him_. 

"Spare me one?" Jongdae reached his arm out to Sehun, asking for a cigarette. 

"Hello din sa'yo," sagot niya. He heard the former giggle and Sehun couldn't help but to look at Jongdae.

"Thanks," Jongdae offered him a small smile before lighting up his cig. He took one long drag off his cig before greeting the taller. 

"Hi, Se," Jongdae beamed at him. 

He had to look away. Sehun just had to. Ayaw na niyang madaya ulit. Hindi na niya hahayaan.

He faked a cough before smoking his cigarette one last time and dumped it on the ground, stepping on it with more force than necessary.

"Akala ko 'di ka pupunta eh, kaya tumuloy ako."

Sehun smirked at the thought of Jongdae avoiding him but quickly dismissed it. 

"Gago, kasal nila Jongin 'yan. Pwede bang hindi ako pumunta?"

"Same. Baka i-neck choke pa ako ni Soo," Jongdae retorted. 

Sehun stayed silent after that. Lumabas siya para huminga kahit saglit. Pero bakit hindi yata siya favorite ng universe? 

"So bakit ka nandito?" Jongdae innocently asked. 

"Boring sa loob eh," he lied. 

"Tapos ka na ba magdinner?" Sehun just nodded his head, didn't want to speak. Tinatantiya pa niya ang kausap.

"Ang bilis mong kumain ah." 

"Iyan ba talaga ang gusto mong sabihin?" 

He thought he saw a flash of panic on Jongdae's eyes but didn't mention it. All of a sudden, he heard the latter laugh out loud.

"Para tanga 'to! Hindi ba pwedeng mangumusta lang sa iyo?" Lumapit pa siya ng kaunti kay Sehun para hampasin ito sa braso like it was the most natural thing to do. Medyo natigilan siya after ma-realise anong ginawa niya, pero magaling din si Jongdae. He brushed it off quickly.

It was all but a show. Sehun knew that. Jongdae's smile didn't even reach his eyes. But why is he faking his laugh? Why does Sehun feel Jongdae is nervous of something?

"Hmm, pwede naman," sagot niya habang nag-cross arms siya, teasing the smaller. "Pero kung ako kasi, hindi ganyan ang sasabihin ko." 

"Eh ano pala dapat?" Jongdae's brows knitted together, clearly curious about what he has to say.

"Why did you leave me?"

Sehun shook his head, amused by Jongdae's reaction. The latter was clearly taken aback by his question.

"Jongdae, kung may sasabihin man ako sa iyo, hindi ako mangangamusta. Sasamantalahin ko nang itanong sa'yo lahat ng mga iniwan mong katanungan dito," sabay turo sa sentido niya. "At dito," tapos sa dibdib naman niya.

Nakita niyang namutla si Jongdae sa harapan niya, halatang natigilan, nagulat sa mga binitawan niyang salita. Hindi naman niya expect na seseryosohin ni Jongdae ang tanong. 

Sehun poked Jongdae's cheek to keep him out of his trance. "Huy, muntanga ka d'yan! Hahahaha!" 

"Gago," was all Jongdae could reply.

They remained quiet after Sehun finished his laughing fit, just staring at the fountain squirting endlessly.

"Whatever happened to us…" Pabulong lang sinabi ni Jongdae iyon pero narinig niya. He would be lying if he said he never felt a constricting pain in his chest when he heard it. Because the pain never left. 

From the moment he and Jongdae decided to call it quits to this very second, the pain is still present. And he could not dismiss the crippling feeling anymore. 

Maybe, just maybe, he'll let himself let loose tonight and ask Jongdae the things he never had spoken about for the last four years.

"Huy, ano ba 'to? Joke lang kasi 'yung kanina! Sir use ka na naman d'yan eh," biro niya kahit deep down alam niyang hindi siya nagjo-joke.

"But, yeah," he whispered all the while he faced the man beside him. He looked Jongdae straight in his eyes. _Just this time,_ he thought, _baka pwede namang malaman na._

"Whatever happened to us?" 

♡

"Mahal?"

"Hm?" 

"Should we call them in?" Jongin asked his husband habang kumakain sila. They decided na unahin na ang dinner before the program itself para hindi mainip ang mga guests nila. 

"Who?" Kyungsoo chews on his food, still having no idea on what his husband is talking about.

"Sehun and Jongdae," Jongin fidgets on his seat. "Baka kasi—"

"Jongin, magtigil ka nga d'yan. Para kang si Baek eh." Tuloy lang sa pagkain si Kyungsoo. Nakakagutom pala magpakasal. 

"I'm just worried." 

Kyungsoo placed his cutlery down his plate and took a good look at his husband. 

"Mahal, it's our day today. Naka-pout ka na oh. 'Yan ba ang mukha ng kinasal kanina? Mukhang 'di ka masaya na pinakasalan mo ako ah." Kyungsoo had to lay it all down for Jongin para magtigil.

"Hindi ah! Masaya kaya ako. Oh, look at me, mahal!" Jongin flashed him a wide smile that made Kyungsoo snort. "Ako kaya ang pinakamasaya ngayong araw!" 

"So stop pouting! Kapag ikaw mukhang nagluluksa sa mga photos natin, I'll talk to Kuya Jun and have him arrange the divorce papers." 

Kyungsoo heard Jongin heave a sigh beside him. He knows exactly what his husband's sentiments are because he's getting anxious as well. He just knows how to handle it better than Jongin and Baekhyun.

"You know what happened last week, Soo."

Kyungsoo took his glass of champagne and drank. 

He remembers it, of course. Sehun had a breakdown amidst their inuman session. It used to be a monthly drinking sesh with the gang, one they used to have way back their college days. But things got hectic when they all got their own jobs. The monthly sesh became an annual gathering for them eventually.

Just a week before their wedding, nagyaya silang dalawa na mag inom. One last inuman sesh na single silang lahat, by status, dahil sila ni Jongin ang mauunang ikasal sa barkada.

He remembers how happy their friends were for the both of them and the infamous cake Baekhyun and Chanyeol bought for them. Kyungsoo remembers running after his friends for their _ambag_ , the dick cake oozing with some whipped cream on its tip. Jongin, on the other hand, enjoyed the gift too much while saying, "Gago, pre, hindi ganyan ang akin. Daks 'to, tol!" 

He remembers Minseok commenting, "Baka kay Soo kasi inspired ang model?" To which he retorted, "Gusto mong ipakita ko ngayon kuya nang magkaalaman tayo?" Halos mahimatay na sa kakatawa si Chanyeol at Yixing habang namutla naman ang ex boyfriend (kasi asawa na raw niya ngayon) niya at the thought of Kyungsoo flashing himself to everyone.

Everyone was having a good time. Kyungsoo remembers how much he missed his friends after they all calmed down and started drinking peacefully with small talks and occasional laughs. 

He remembers Sehun, though. Ang pinakahuling dumating sa kanila. Bagong dating pero mukhang may amats na. He greeted them with his signature playful smile and hugged each one of them.

"Saan ka galing, Se? Nauna ka nang uminom bago pumunta rito. Duga neto talaga sa alak!" pang asar ni Minseok.

Sehun settled between Junmyeon and Yixing and they started drinking again. Umikot ulit ang baso, starting from Sehun this time, drinking two full glasses kasi nahuli raw siya. Bottoms up pa.

He was drunk while everyone else was just starting to get buzzed. Baekhyun decided it was time for the congratulatory messages because they're all half drunk and nobody would ever dare to get sappy with their friends' wedding if they're sober.

"To Jongin and Kyungsoo," Baekhyun started, stood up from his seat and raised the glass. "Sana all!!!" he shouted, making them laugh once again. Hinila nalang siya ni Minseok para maupo ulit.

Kyungsoo remembers laughing so hard at Baek's speech while he jokingly replied, "'Pag inggit, pikit."

Lahat sila pumikit maliban kina Kyungsoo, Jongin, Minseok, at Yixing. Kaya tawang tawa na naman si Kyungsoo. Jongin even took a photo of them.

Agad naman silang dumilat pagkatapos noon. Except for one person.

He remembers how everyone went silent while Jongin nudged his side. "Babe, si Sehun."

Kyungsoo remembers it so well. 

Nakapikit pa rin si Sehun. His shoulders started to tremble. The next thing they knew, Sehun was sobbing uncontrollably. 

"Uy, Se, anong nangyari?" Junmyeon was the first one to hold Sehun dahil katabi lang niya. His sobs soon turned into a full weep. 

"Sabi niyo kasi… 'pag inggit, pumikit. Pumikit ako… kasi… sobrang inggit ako," Sehun tried to explain in between his sobs. "Jongin, pre… Kuya Soo… masaya naman ako… masaya ako para sa inyong dalawa…" 

"Pero… naiinggit talaga ako," he then wailed like a baby. 

Everyone got up from their seats and went to Sehun's side. Sinsusubukan nilang i-comfort ito. Hindi mapigilan ni Kyungsoo mga ang luha niya. He never saw Sehun so broken. It's been four years, akala nila okay na. Sehun never showed them any signs of vulnerability. He always greets them with a smile, always crack jokes once in awhile. They never knew he was breaking.

"Kami rin… kami rin dapat…" Hinayaan lang nila siyang umiyak. If this is the only way he could vent out, okay lang.

"Bunso…"

"Kuya, bakit?" Kumapit si Sehun sa mga braso ni Chanyeol. "Bakit hindi kami natuloy?" Chanyeol had to look away because he's seconds away from crying. Baekhyun took the initiative to answer for Yeol. 

"Bunso, hindi rin namin alam."

Kyungsoo could see that Sehun was desperate for answers. But they all knew no one could give him that except for the person who left Sehun. 

After Sehun calmed down, they all decided to call it a night. No one dared to speak about what happened again.

"Akala ko nga hindi makakarating si Kuya Dae ngayon. 'Di ba nagpasabi siya na he can't come?" Jongin asked.

Tinignan lang niya ang asawa niya. 

"I asked him to come today."

♡

Minseok heard it all. Well, at least the important parts. Kaya he decided to step in.

"Se, Jongdae, tara na sa loob. Start na raw ng program," he called. He could feel the tension between the two even from a meter apart.

He saw Jongdae followed him first, so he waited for him by the grand door. 

"So… you and Sehun."

"Kuya, don't start it." Natawa nalang si Minseok. They walked to the table together, with Sehun tailing them behind.

"What? From what I've seen, mukhang okay naman kayo magkausap. Hinahampas mo pa nga," Minseok teased. He earned a slap on the shoulders for that.

"Oh, ayan hampas din ang abot mo sa akin. Upo na nga, kuya!" 

They all settled down as the program started. It went smoothly and fast. It almost felt like a blur to Jongdae. The next thing he knew, Sehun was being called for the best man's speech. 

He can see Sehun unwillingly making his way to the couple. He keeps on scratching the back of his left ears, indicating he's nervous.

Sehun was never confident in front of an audience, Jongdae knew that well. He's a pretty boy and he could make the whole room go silent with that face alone, but Sehun has a stage fright. So seeing him stand there in all his glory, holding a microphone in one hand, the other hand in his pocket, delivering his speech like he's done it a million times before, Jongdae couldn't help but feel proud of him. It made him smile.

"Chika minute!" Napatalon ng onti si Jongdae sa pagbulong ni Baekhyun sa tenga niya.

"Hoy, nagulat naman ako! Ang lakas ng boses mo!" saway ni Jongdae. Pero may makakapigil ba kay Baekhyun?

"Hoy ka rin! Pa-suspense ka pa d'yan, kung hindi pa ikakasal si Soo 'di ka magpapakita sa amin?" 

"Aminin mo nalang na miss na miss mo na 'ko, Baek. Marami akong pasalubong sa'yo kaya kung hindi ka mananahimik, mapupunta lahat 'yun kay Yeol," he threatened his friend na medyo effective naman.

"Hindi pa ako interesado sa mga pasalubong mo ngayon," pagkukulit ni Baek. "So, anong pinagusapan niyo? Nasabi mo na ba?" 

He knew this would happen. Kaya nga iniwasan muna niyang tumabi kay Baekhyun kasi mangungulit ito for sure. 

"Pwede bang magfocus muna tayo sa program?" 

Baekhyun finally settled on his seat, nagtigil na siya sa kalilikot at pinanood na rin si Sehun. Ilang seconds din na natahimik si Jongdae.

"Tell him, Jongdae."

"What?" He turned to look at his friend who's giving him the you-know-what-I'm-talking-about look.

"What if hindi niya tanggapin, Baek?"

Baekhyun was silent for a while, probably contemplating what to answer him.

"That isn't for you to decide, Dae," he broke his silence. "You know he deserves to know why. 'Yun lang ang sa'yo. Whether he believes it or not, it's all up to him." 

"Kausapin mo na kasi, Dae. Nahihirapan na 'yung tao."

The words are hazy in his mind, but Baekhyun surely knocked some sense out of him. 

"Don't keep him in the dark. He's far too long in there. Malay mo, this is all he needs para maka-move on sa'yo."

Madalas walang sense ang mga sinasabi ni Baekhyun pero bakit may atake ang mga salita niya ngayon?

♡

Jongdae thought his clubbing days were over when he graduated from college. So why did this wedding turned into a disco party? 

All of his friends are now on the dancefloor with some other guests and of course, the newlyweds. Apparently, this was Kyungsoo's idea, to his shock. Ayaw daw niya na mukhang malamya ang kasal niya so he personally asked Chanyeol and Yixing to mix up something. Bwiset, EDM songs talaga ang mga pine-play!

Of course, hindi naman magwawalwal ang mga kaibigan niya sa dance floor without some boost from alcohol. Tipsy na nga sila halos except for him. He was just laughing at the sides sa mga moves ni Baekhyun at Sehun when he was suddenly dragged by Junmyeon. 

"'Wag kang KJ! Minsan ka lang umuwi at minsan lang ikakasal ang mga kaibigan mo kaya sumayaw ka d'yan!" 

Hindi na siya nanlaban and Baekhyun spotted him instantly. At a flash, nasa tabi na niya ito, making him sway to the beat of an Avicii song. Junmyeon joined them and the three of them just danced the night away.

Him and his friends were enjoying, dancing their asses off when the music suddenly shifted onto a love song. Dinig na dinig ang "Putanginamo Chanyeol Park, wala akong kasayaw! Bakit mo pinalitan?" ni Baekhyun as the crowd got smaller. Naupo na ang karamihan sa mga kasabay nilang sumasayaw kanina. 

"And for their first dance as a married couple, let's give it up for Jongin and Kyungsoo!" Everyone applauded for them. Jongdae was about to go back to his seat.

"Sabayan niyo po kami please kundi hindi po sasayaw itong asawa ko," Jongin pleaded their guests, but mostly ang barkada nila. Baekhyun and Minseok went to the dance floor once again as they danced happily along side Jongin and Kyungsoo.

Babalik na talaga dapat siya sa table nila, until his eyes found Sehun's and for some reason, he could not look away. Sehun was staring back at him with so much longing in his eyes. 

Jongdae didn't know how but his feet moved forward. He could see Sehun walking towards him as well, taking his time, as if calculating his every move. And he didn't stop until he's in front of Jongdae. 

"Can I have this dance?" 

Jongdae beamed at him. "High school musical yan?" he joked as he wrapped his arms around Sehun's neck. He felt Sehun's arms circles his waist as well, pulling him closer in the process. The scent of his ex swarms him senses and he couldn't help but feel intoxicated by it. Sehun still smells so good.

Sehun looks down at him, smiling. This is the first time since they broke up that they stand this close to each other. Jongdae can't help it but he missed Sehun. Much more than he could admit.

Dashboard Confessional's Stolen was playing, it wasn't a slow song to dance to but it's Jongin and Kyungsoo's song so it's their call. Plus, it isn't so bad. Lalo na for Sehun and Jongdae. 

"Hi ulit," Sehun greeted. Jongdae snorts which made the taller giggle.

They were quietly dancing, occasionally taking glances at each other. Nagpapakiramdaman. No one dared to talk.

So when the song's halfway through, Jongdae decided to speak.

"I wasn't ready." 

He felt Sehun stiffen underneath him. 

"Ha?" 

Jongdae took a deep breath before answering.

"To answer your question earlier… hell, it probably was lingering on your mind the moment I left… I left because I wasn't ready." 

He heard Sehun took a sharp breath, he could also feel the latter's pounding chest. Sehun tried to open his mouth to speak, but he couldn't do so.

"You don't have to say anything. Bullshit, right?" 

"Yeah, bullshit." 

"That's it, Dae?" Sehun saw his ex flinched with the mention of the old nickname. "Hindi ka ready kaya iniwan mo na 'ko?" 

Jongdae nodded in response.

"Hindi ako ready. At that time, I was thinking I'll never be ready." 

Sehun sighed. "Ready for what, Jongdae?" 

"For you," Jongdae whispered that Sehun barely heard him. "For all of you." 

As the song ended, both of them fell silent. Jongdae expected a few tears would be shed. But there's nothing but the quiet chaos inside of them. He doesn't know which one is worse.

"Handa naman akong hintayin ka. Kahit gaano pa katagal iyon. You could've stayed, Dae."

Jongdae shook his head. "I can't, Se. It was too much for me."

Akala mo hindi na masakit ang naririnig nila, then came The Script's song playing, almost like teasing them. Alam na alam nila ang kanta. Kung may Stolen sila Jongin at Kyungsoo, sa kanila naman ang Never Seen Anything Quite Like You.

Sabay silang napatingin sa gawi nila Chanyeol. 'Yung hinayupak nilang kaibigan, naka-peace na agad pagkakita nila. May isang kurot na maliit sa singit si Chanyeol mamaya.

"Naaalala mo ba after graduation, kalahating taon akong tambay sa bahay kasi I couldn't pass a single interview from all the applications I made? Sabi mo huwag akong magworry kasi hindi mo ako pababayaan? It was flattering pero sa katagalan pakiramdam ko pabigat na ako sa'yo, Se." 

"Why would you think of that, Dae? Never kang naging pabigat sa akin." Sehun tried to assure Jongdae but it's too late for that now.

"Lalo na nung nalaman ng mama mo na habang pagod na pagod ka from working while reviewing for boards, ayun akong nakahilata sa bahay. Hiyang hiya ako nun, Se. But what could I do? Walang may gustong i-hire ako. You know I tried so hard. Before graduation naga-apply na ako..." 

"Lahat sa barkada may trabaho na, ako wala pa. Kapag may lakad, ikaw lagi ang gumagastos. Akala mo ba hindi ko alam…" Jongdae tried to stiffle a sob. Iniiwasan niya talagang umiyak ngayon, pero sa tuwing maaalala niya, hindi mapigilan ang mga luha.

"Akala mo ba hindi ko alam na ikaw na ang gumastos for your boards? Mababa pa ang sahod mo nun, and you're barely getting by. Pero you insist on paying everything for me. Sobrang namayat ka noon kasi your mom refuses to give you extra allowance, you had to cut down all your expenses even sa food. Jongin told me that, if that's what you'll ask."

"Pero kinaya naman, Dae, 'di ba? Nakapasa naman ako sa boards. I made it. We made it through that." Sehun is now crying, too. "So why did you leave me? Nakaya naman natin 'yon? Alam mo naman kung gaano kita kamahal. I would do anything for you."

Jongdae cupped Sehun's face in his hands as he wiped Sehun's tears away before answering him.

"That's the problem, Se. You would do everything for me. Everything. There's no room for me to do anything for myself. I had you give everything to me on a silver platter without even asking for it. I couldn't feel myself grow. Worse is, I felt so dependent on you." 

"I am forever grateful for what you did to me but then I asked myself, what else could I offer you? I have nothing then, Sehun." 

"I wouldn't want to have you any other way. I love you and I will take anything you give, Dae," Sehun buried his face even more in Jongdae's palms, as if seeking more of the latter's warmth. "You could've stayed with me."

"But that's even worse. Ayaw ko naman ibigay sa'yo yung kung ano-ano lang. You deserve all the best things in this life, Se. It just happened that I am nowhere near good that time."

"I have nothing to offer you, that's why I rejected your proposal. Garabyado ka sa akin. I knew I had to walk away from you, from us. Even if it killed me. I needed that break, Se. And I'm sorry if I broke you too while doing so." 

"Believe me, I resent myself for feeling that way kasi I was supposed to be ready, 'di ba? Five years na tayo when you proposed to me, so I should be ready. Limang taon nang tayo and yet I wasn't ready to spend the rest of my life with you," Jongdae tried his best to explain in between his sobs.

"I'm sorry, Sehun, but I could not give you any other reason. I hated myself for so long for feeling unprepared. You could love a person so much but still won't be ready. I was like that with you." 

He tried to calm down. Magalit na kung magalit, but he didn't want to hide in the dark anymore. As shallow as it seems to him, the break gave Jongdae the opportunity to grow as a person. But at what cost?

He just had to give up the love of his life.

Hindi nila namalayan kung ilang kanta na ba ang pinatugtog ni Chanyeol. Thankful si Jongdae na naiintindihan ng mga kaibigan ang nangyayari and let the two of them have their moment.

As they calmed down, he felt Sehun's hand holding his face as his thumb carefully caressing Jongdae's cheeks. With just a simple gesture, Jongdae felt the love Sehun has for him. He couldn't be anymore grateful for that.

He pulled Jongdae into a tight hug as he felt the taller's lips kissed the top of his head. Jongdae let it all out, he cried on Sehun's shoulders while muttering endless apologies.

"Shh, tama na Dae. 'Wag ka nang umiyak," sabi ni Sehun na akala mo hindi rin naiyak. "Akala nila niyan pinapaiyak kita." 

Jongdae lifted his head to meet Sehun's gaze, still full of love and adoration. "I'm sorry hindi ko naramdaman na nahihirapan ka noon." 

"I'm sorry, Se," he replied and the tears just won't stop from falling. Pinunasan ulit ni Sehun ang mukha niya. Namumugto na rin ang mga mata ni Sehun.

"Shh, sabi tahan na. Ang panget mo na tuloy oh!"

"Panget pala ha? Sabi sa akin ni Baekhyun gandang ganda ka pa rin sa akin hanggang ngayon," Jongdae teased back. Balik na sila sa pang aasar. "What was it again? Still as beautiful as ever?"

"Totoo naman kasi. You still are," Sehun replied as he tried to cage Jongdae in his arms again. Jongdae willingly hugged him back as they swayed to the beat of whatever song was playing.

"Tapos na ba kayo, ha? Gusto ko nang maupo, Jongdae." 

Hindi nila namalayan tinabihan na pala sila ng mag asawa. Si Kyungsoo simangot na dahil napagod sa kakasayaw at paghihintay sa kanila. 

"Sorry, Soo, Jongin. Inagawa yata namin kayo ng moment."

"Ayos lang, kasama talaga sa program it–aray! Ay, secret pala iyon, hehe." Trust Jongin and his mouth.

Soon, they heard glasses clinking. The guests are shouting, "Kiss! Kiss!"

"Jongdae, kiss daw! Sehun, sungab na!" sigaw ng isang eskandalosong Baekhyun Byun. Wala talagang makakapigil sa bunganga ng kaibigan nila. 

"Tanga, hindi naman kami ang kinasal!" Jongdae retorted that made everyone laugh.

While Jongin and Kyungsoo adhered to everyone's request, Sehun and Jongdae were staring at each other. 

"Naiintindihan ko na, Dae," bulong ni Sehun habang tinititigan siya. As if he was memorizing his face, taking in his every feature, every flaw. It's as if this will be the last time he'll ever hold Jongdae close.

At kahit hindi naman sila ang hinihingan ng halik, Sehun pressed a soft, lingering kiss on Jongdae's forehead before he whispered,

"I'm letting you go now."

♡

Three years later, Sehun finds himself walking alone in the streets of downtown Zürich with his camera hanging from his neck. 

He finds solace when he travels, so he did a lot of travelling after _that._

He can now say he's okay. It's really liberating when you finally accept that some things are really not meant for you. It took him a while to realise that, though.

As he strides down the sidewalk, he can't help but think about him. It's been a while since he thought of _him_.

It feels different now. Kung dati puro sakit lang ang nararamdaman niya sa tuwing maaalala si Jongdae, wala na iyon ngayon. He had long forgiven Jongdae and himself, too. Ayaw na niya makulong sa lungkot at sakit over some things that are beyond his control. 

_Come what may_ ang bagong motto niya.

He went to a cafe to grab a snack and have some tea before heading out to the outskirts of the town. Upo lang siya sa labas ng cafe, pinapanood ang mga dumadaang tao at ang walang katapusang biyahe ng Tram sa harapan niya. 

Katapat mismo ng cafe ang isang stop ng Tram, at sakto naman na nagdidiskarga ng pasahero ito. While sipping on his tea, he saw a very familiar figure boarding off the Tram. Muntik na niyang maibuga ang iniinom.

The figure stopped on his tracks when his eyes landed on Sehun.

Ang tanging bagay na tumatakbo sa isipan ni Sehun ay sana pwede pa.

"Sehun?"

He stood up from his seat immediately, running towards _him._

_Sana pwede na._

**Author's Note:**

> You made it here! Thank you so much for reading! 💛
> 
> Comments are highly appreciated. Give this writer some lovin'! 
> 
> Sigawan niyo ako sa twitter, @ohjdaem. Babasahin ko mamaya pag gising ko. 
> 
> -m.


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